Honeymoon: Not-Nude Beach

[mendanddefend_archive]

After a bit more research and a lengthy conversation with the front-desk clerk at their hotel, Bob and Dot have located another beach--not a nude beach this time, but at least it caters to humanoids rather than gastropods. Better still, there's no chance of getting sunburned, because this particular beach has never seen daylight and probably never will. It's an underground lagoon lit by bioluminescent mushrooms in every color of the rainbow, clinging to the walls and pillars of the cavern. ("Don't even think about trying to eat 'em," the desk clerk warned, which just made Bob wonder why anyone would want to.)

Whatever. The lighting is lovely, the water is pleasantly cool, and they've got the entire cave to themselves. For now, anyway.

Comments

[mendanddefend_archive]

Caught, landed, and mounted on a plaque on the wall, sweetie.

"Right! Right, the scenery, right. It's--it's really something."

[command_dot_com]

"Speaking of...I don't suppose you girls would mind helping us take some vacation photos..."

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Man, there are MANTICORES less intimidatng thant his woman.

[mendanddefend_archive]

And being snared by a fisherman's hook would probably be more comfortable.

The purple-and-yellow one is the first to speak up. "Yes, ma'am, just tell me how it works..."

"She's so fat!" whispers the third mermaid, colored rather like a clownfish. "How can he--"

"Shut up, Tetra," the wrasse-girl hisses back.

[command_dot_com]

...She heard that.

"Simple enough.. viewfinder is here...click this button once to zoom and focus on something..." Dot goes through the steps carefully, one hand to a stomach that's putting out regular pings now that the daddy is nearby.

[mendanddefend_archive]

The picture-taking proceeds without incident (although Tetra still looks faintly appalled). Afterward, the three mermaids quickly excuse themselves and disappear beneath the water's surface once more.

The moment they're gone, Bob sags against Dot's shoulder. "Ohthankyousomuch."

[command_dot_com]

Ooof!

"Yes, dear.... Next time, I'll explore the area and you can schmooze with the locals." Dot murmurs hugging him, and giving him a kiss on his cheek. "And thank you Glitch, for 'taking the controls' for that nano there."

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Dot, if you're worried about someone stealing me away, don't. Why would I want anyone else when I've got you?"

It might sound cheesy, but it's true.

[command_dot_com]

"Mhmm...you say the sweetest things..."

[mendanddefend_archive]

Bob doesn't have anything to say to that. Talking would mean he's not kissing his wife.

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From the far end of the lagoon...

"Ew, gross! How can he get close to that lardass?"
"Eh, forget him. Let's go cruise the north shore, I hear there's a spot where the satyrs like to go skinny-dipping..."